The CONFUSION: essays. self-therapy sessions
ଏହି ଇବୁକ୍ ବିଷୟରେ
Somehow ... my behaviour makes me look like ... an actor playing ... contradictory roles.
Of course ... pretending.
Again and again.
Cause ... the ridiculous truth ... no matter how much i deny it ... is that i don't really like my conclusions.
About me.
About my life.
And ... it's nicer to lie myself that i do not understand anything at all ... or even if i start to understand ... that it's still unclear.
That is how ... i've became a liar ... claiming so strongly that i am confused.
Repeating it loudly ... till a point of even looking like ... i try to say that confusion itself is a virtue.
Of course ... it's ridiculous.
Of course ... that i am pathetic.
But ... i continue having the same speech.
On and on and on.
But ... i guess ... all is fine.
It's part of life.
Of my evolution.
I look ... absurd ... but i am not really ashamed of myself.
I can't.
I don't want it.
So ... all is ... the way it is.
I explain my thoughts ... my perceptions ... but also all i feel ... as a process of self therapy ... but actually acting as confusing ... not necessarily being confused.
Which is somehow a paradox ... or even a nonsense ... but for sure ...part of life.
My life.
ଅଧିକ ଡିସ୍କଭର କରନ୍ତୁ
ମୂଲ୍ୟାଙ୍କନ ଓ ସମୀକ୍ଷା
ଲେଖକଙ୍କ ବିଷୟରେ
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.
