White Lines: A Rugby Life Broken and Rebuilt
About this ebook
'A phenomenal book. It is going to be the biggest sports book of the year' Tommy Bowe
'White Lines ... might just be the sporting autobiography of the year. It's a gripping read, full of sobering insights into professional rugby and life' The Guardian
'Drips with authenticity and takes "warts and all" to a whole new level' Irish Independent
'This compelling document will surely be on the shortlist for sports biography of the year' RTÉ Guide
From the roar of packed stadiums to the silence of a prison cell, White Lines is the blazing true story of Ryan Caldwell - former Ulster, Ireland and Premiership rugby player - whose fall from grace nearly cost him everything.
Once hailed as a towering enforcer on the pitch, Caldwell lived for the game - until injury cut his career short. Here, he charts the highs, the collisions and the culture of professional rugby, and the spiral into depression and addiction that brought him to the edge of existence.
What follows is a raw, unforgettable journey, into the heart of the Amazon jungle and across the rugged terrain of healing, as Ryan confronts the pain buried beneath his rugby persona and begins to rebuild.
Raw, honest and often shocking, White Lines is a story about rugby, identity and the fight to rise from the wreckage of a career built on brutality and brotherhood. A powerful tale of redemption, resilience and courage.
Discover more
About the author
Ryan Caldwell is a former professional rugby player turned natural medicine, meditation and breathwork practitioner. Born in Belfast, he played for Ulster, Bath, Exeter and Ireland, earning a reputation as a fierce competitor before injury brought an early end to his career.
His story charts a turbulent journey from the heights of international sport to the depths of addiction, prison and, finally, recovery. Since rebuilding his life, Ryan has devoted himself to understanding what sits beneath performance and wellbeing, and how integrating identity and trauma inform the process of starting again.
He now speaks openly about mental health, addiction and transformation, working with others as they navigate their own paths forward. Ryan lives in Straid, Northern Ireland, with his partner Tara and their two young children.
@ry_caldwell
Peter Lockhart is a Belfast-based writer, journalist and solicitor whose work spans sport and long-form non-fiction. He writes regularly for The Irish News, Belfast Telegraph and BBC Sport, primarily covering rugby.
A lifelong Ulster and Ireland rugby fan, he also hosts Stand Up: An Ulster Rugby podcast, which follows Ulster rugby through its better and more challenging moments.
He lives in East Belfast with his wife Emma and their two young children.
