An Altruist

THE scene is Wilfrid BertramÕs rooms in Piccadilly, facing the Green Park. The time is six oÕclock in the afternoon. The audience is a goodly number of men and women of that class which calls itself Society. The rooms are small and the guests are many. A few look contemptuously amused. A great many appear excruciatingly bored.

ÒItÕs all rot!Ó says one gentleman in confidence to his walking-stick.

It is the general opinion, though it has but one spokesman.

ÒWhat a shame, when he is so much in earnest!Ó says a pretty girl.

ÒBores always are awfully in earnest,Ó replies the critic. ÒIf heÕd only give us something to drinkÑÑÓ

ÒYou can get plenty to drink in the street,Ó says the young lady, with a withering glance.

Meantime, Wilfrid Bertram, who has been speaking for more than an hour without contradiction, except such as he read on his friendsÕ faces, perceives at last that he has been wearying them; a knowledge which is always slow to steal upon the teacher of mankind.

He stops in the middle of a very fine peroration.

ÒMy dear people,Ó he remarks, a little irritablyÑÒI mean, ladies and gentlemenÑif you are so soon weary of so illimitable a subject, I fear I must have failed to do it justice.Ó

ÒSo soon?Ñoh, hang it!Ó says the man who has wished for something to drink. ÒWe came upstairs at half-past four, and youÕve had all the jaw to yourself ever since, and itÕs past six now, and weÕre all as thirsty as dogs.Ó

An expression of extreme disdain passes over the lecturerÕs face.

ÒI did not invite you, Lord Marlow,Ó he says, very coldly. ÒIf I had done I would have provided beer and skittles for your entertainment.Ó

ÒOh, I say Wilfrid, come, finish your address to us; itÕs extremely interesting,Ó observes, in amiable haste, a much older man, with a bald head and pleasant, ruddy countenance, who is his uncle, Lord Southwold.

ÒImmensely interesting!Ó echo everybody: they can say so with animation, almost with veracity, now that they are aware it is drawing to an end.

ÒI ask your pardon if my infirmities have done injustice to a noble theme. I fear I have failed to make myself intelligible,Ó says Bertram, in a tone intended to be apologetic, but which is actually only aggressive, since it plainly implies that his pearls have been thrown before swine. He closes the manuscript and note-books which are lying before him with the air of a person who is prepared for anything from the obtuseness and ingratitude of humanity.